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A Story About Stephen D. Edwards
Written by Stephen D. Edwards
Stephen D. Edwards is the eldest of three siblings, born and raised in Latin America of British parents who loved them and did their best as parents. They moved every two to four years.
At age 10, he joined the Boy Scouts and began to learn and gain recognition for skills and knowledge. The merit badges he earned gave him the recognition that fulfilled a need for approval. But they also sparked a dream to achieve greatness in the top rank of Eagle Scout. With that goal in mind, his scout leaders advised him to seek the mentorship of a local Catholic priest. Little did he know that his Boy Scout days would soon end.
At home, frequent bickering and quarreling between his siblings and him, led his parents to decide to send him to a military boarding school when he was 11. They included him in the decision, so he couldn’t put everything on them for that. The thought of flying lessons offered by the school—giving graduates opportunities in the US Air Force or as civilian aircraft pilots—convinced him to go as he might learn to fly and become an airline pilot. Yet somehow, those flying lessons didn’t get started, even though his peers talked about their experiences in the flight program. Dreams die, don’t they?
The teachers were strict and rarely encouraged students. Many of the other students attending were cool and good friends, but they were not family. The school also failed to teach the wisdom of discipline, which was Edwards’ parents’ intent in sending him there. Instead, he saw many boys rebel against authority in ways he had never heard of. He witnessed many boys bully and try to make themselves lords over others, demanding praise like gods, while he needed a fatherly role model to follow.
That experience was horrible to Edwards, and for many people, it might be enough to send them spiraling into depression. But he knows that it was only a factor. Deep within him, he knew that he landed in the deep, dark hole of depression because of what happened back in grade one five years earlier. The teacher had each student stand up individually to count to 100 once per day until achieved. When he did trip on a number, the teacher would stop him and tell him to sit down and try again the next day. His classmates jeered and mocked him, but as unbearable as that was, the teacher’s lack of grace was worse. He notes that even these days, he has a tendency to trip over his words while trying to perform the same feat.
He can’t really remember what the teacher looked like, but the tone of her voice telling him to sit down became terrifying. He can remember feeling so traumatized that he sometimes “forgot” to go back to class after lunch or recess. It was a serious hit to his self-esteem and confidence. He didn’t tell his parents about this issue, but soon after that, fights with his brother became quite frequent.
His stay at the boarding school of hell was short, but the family reunion only lasted a year as his parents separated and later got divorced. He stayed with his dad in Brazil, while his siblings moved to Edmonton.
He knew that his father loved him, but he didn’t father his son, worshiping the gods of golf and other weekend pleasures. Even while at home the rest of the week, he was very distant. And in his earthly father’s abandonment, there was no one else he could trust enough to unload his burdens.
He sought the attention and approval of his peers, through partying and alcohol. It was during this time that he began to believe some lies about myself:
“I’m not good at anything, have no talent, not smart, neither manly nor courageous, have no future, nobody can forgive what I’ve done, I’ll never change, and I need to fix these problems on my own.”
In his senior year of high school, he willfully turned away from God, telling his father that He could not possibly exist. His dismay surprises Edwards even now because they did not attend a church except maybe once or twice through those high school years. He can clearly remember thinking that Jesus must have just been a magician performing tricks instead of miracles. Clearly, he surmises that he was undereducated on the subject of Christ.
As an adult, depression, and addiction became his comfort zone. His first marriage ended after only 18 months. After that debacle he had a long string of relationships for two full decades until one day, he reconnected with God, but depression continued.
It was after attending a 12-step program to recover from the addiction, that change started to happen. There were some new habits that became the keys to the freedom he would later receive.
This story and the keys to the freedom from depression which he gained are the main content of the book that Stephen wrote. Stephen D. Edwards encourages anyone who battles depression that freedom is not only possible. It is for the taking for anyone who wants it.
Check out Stephen's Book: https://www.stephendedwards.net/